I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
