Little spoons don't ask big questions
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Randomize