dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
porn star boner night. come get it.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
