i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
