The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
