around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Randomize
