Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
