I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
He did a backflip because drugs
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
