Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
ok first of all what the fuck
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
