Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
