I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Randomize