Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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