maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
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