I cannot find my penis.
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
