I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
