you guys were way drunker than both of me
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
