Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Randomize
