He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
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