just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
