Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
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