I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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