Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
They have beer where we have blood.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
