i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
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