i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
sex in a hospital.. check
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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