i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Randomize
