reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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