I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Randomize
