He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
