I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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