I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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