Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
