no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Couch. On fire.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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