I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
