i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Drunk is a universal language darling
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize