She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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