Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
