What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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