i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize
