Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
