The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
