Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
The power of my boobs compel you
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
