Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
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