i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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