I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
