If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Then you guys just all showered together...?
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
