id be glad to
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
