Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
