so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize