she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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