apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Randomize
