So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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