My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize
