i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
