Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
