is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
