Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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