You made me cry and you don't even care
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Randomize
