New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
