You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I seem to have left my pride at pride
I could have mohawked her pubes.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
