I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
