Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
