There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
