why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
