Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
