She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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