It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
